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Use a Plastic Bag

June 20, 2011

I had a revelation in my parents’ back yard today that playing a lot of video games makes you ideally suited for picking up dog poop that’s all over a back yard.  It gives you the patience to perform the same menial task over and over again, like picking up a piece of dog poop and putting it into a plastic bag.  It shortens your attention span so much that anything which requires more effort or delayed gratification than pressing a couple of buttons or putting another piece of dog poop into a plastic bag seems horrid and boring.  It makes you good at spotting things so you can spot those hard-to-find, half-way decomposed pieces of dog poop that have been out there for over a month.  It dulls your sense of smell so you don’t notice how you haven’t showered in three days, or how bad the dog poop smells.  Cities around the world with high dog traffic should latch on to this untapped workforce.  People wouldn’t need to pick up their own dog’s poop anymore, they could just leave it there and let the gamers swoop in.  All you’d need is a poop bag that lights up and makes a BING when you put poop in it.

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